Param's Blog

Looking back.....Can I ever thank my parents enough.. "Ever" ??

2009-07-23T11:13:00.005-04:00

I am going to be 35 in few weeks.......Uff I am getting old pretty quick. Didn't really care about my age even when I turned 30. My parents never let me feel my age although my whole neighbouhood did :)) I never knew how to be a woman even at the age of 25, 26, 28 or 30......I was always a young girl even when I turned 30. My parents still treat me like their very young child.I have everything a woman would want in her life.....A husband who loves her with all his heart, a home, parents who are always by her side, loving sisters & brothers. I am a changed person....I am not what I used to be 4 yrs ago and I would be a different person 4 yrs from now.

I have met some very interesting people in my life so far. I have met people who like me for who I am and some people who thought they could change me to suit their needs. People who saw me as a potential life partner and people who used me emotionally to get a kick. I have had friends who befriended me to feel good and people who were my friends to make fun of me but I am not complaining. All these years I have been nothing but myself but along the way I let myself down by falling prey to some mean people who used me emotionally and left. But then I have my parents who made every pain go away and made my life beautiful right from day one when I was born.

I have my parents to thank for everything they have done for me. My parents are the only ones who have done everything for me selflessly, without expectations, loved me unconditionally.

I want to thank them for being "Parents" and not friends; for being "Teachers", for being "Mentors", for being "Saviours", for being "Guides".

I want to thank them for being there for me everytime when I need them and all other times; for being my moral support when I feel low and let down; for being my strength and help me grow emotionally.

I want to thank my parents for being as strict as they were while raising me, for being adamant about rules and regulations, for teaching us about discipline, for teaching us about our boundaries & limitations in terms of relationships, for teaching us that "Sky is our limit", for being proud of us no matter what.

I want to thank them for always attending my singing competitions, for being able to be there supporting me in all my competitions and encouraging me to do even better, for sitting outside the home and waiting for me till late night when I would come back from some of my "out of state" competitions and cheering me up without even knowing the results :)).

I want to thank them for the times when I acted stupid and silly and they beat me up (it taught me not to do that thing again), for being understanding the differences between me and my sisters and not comparing us for anything.

I want to thank them for teaching us to be "Loyal" honest, brave and carefree.

I want to thank them for letting us be vulnerable at times and understanding that we need to express our emotions.

I want to thank them for letting us cry when we needed to and hug us for comfort.

I want to thank them for teaching me that "Marriage is not a decision, it's a committment".

I want to thank my parents for "never" fighting in front of us (well they never faught, they argued).

I want to thank them for being positive during all those times full of stress & struggles never letting us realise how bad the situation really was.

I want to thank them for being so loving even when we screwed up things.

I want to thank them for raising us with all their love,care & strength.

I want to thank my father for not being shy or ashamed of crying in front of his daughters to show his emotions, for showing that Dads cry too.

I want to thank my parents for teaching us to be content with what we have but still have high dreams, expectations and fantasies.

I am thankful to my parents for helping us to have dreams and have our feet firm on the ground.

I am thankful to my parents for teaching us compassion, helping poor people in need and treat everyone equally.

I am thankful to my parents for forgiving us when we committed mistakes.

I am thankful to my parents for helping us to get through tough emotional times.

I am thankful to my parents for making saturday afternoons the best afternoons of our lives when we'd come home from school and our parents would always have the "bestest" fresh & delicious lunch prepared for us. I can still see my parents standing outside waiting for us in the afternoon and they'd take our school bags from us, let us in, gave us something to drink, talked to us about school, fed us and just listen to us blabber :)) Saturday was really their only day off to themselves and they managed to dedicate that day to us as well, how can I ever pay them back for all those saturdays ??

I am thankful to my father for braiding our hair in the morning while my mom prepared food for all 6 of us.

I am thankful to my mother for giving up on her needs and feeding ours instead :(( My mother has always been content with few sarees that she had for her office wear but she always managed to get us new uniforms for school every year.

I am thankful to my parents for helping us to learn to love ourselves, each other and everyone else.

I want to thank them for working so hard to make ends meet and providing us with everything we "needed" so that we can grow up to have everything we "want".

I am thankful to my parents for giving up on their dreams, needs & wants to make sure that we were looked after properly and that we were provided for.

I want to thank my parents for all the times full of laughter & happiness, times when they would praise my cooking skills in front of their friends and I would feel the pride in their eyes & heart.

I want to thank my parents for holding our hands every step of the way, for all of their hugs, their kisses on our foreheads, their beatings and their fury :))

I want to thank my father for holding our hands while crossing the roads, in the market or on the street.

I want to thank my parents for staying up all night with us during our exams or if one of us was sick.

I want to thank my mother for cooking for all 6 of us without getting mad at us.

I want to thank her for cleaning the home, for washing all the dishes and clothes and making sure that we spent all our time either playing or studying.

I want to thank my father for giving up on buying a scooter for himself & mom so that he can buy us brand new ink pens & ink pots for our final exams every year, some brand new books for our new grades and to buy us new school uniforms & dresses.

I want to thank my father for riding me around on his bicycle and taking me to my music practise.

I want to thank my mother for selling her only Gold bracelet (which she managed to buy after working hard for 33 years of her life for us) to make sure that I had some extra cash on my way to the USA.

I want to thank my father for tucking us in our warm quilts in the winter time.

I want to thank my father for telling us stories sitting outside in our verandah while my mom cooked food for all 6 of us in a "tiny" "hot" kitchen in summer times and she never complained :'((

I want to thank my parents for giving up on their sleep & rest so they can give us more time and take good care of us.

I want to thank my parents for attending our Doll's marriage and actually cooking for the groom party :)) (we were very young then)

I am thankful to my mother for letting us use her clean bed sheets to make a tent outside in the verandah using some wood sticks, folding beds and flash lights.

I am thankful to my mother for washing clothes for all of us in freezing winters sitting outside in freezing cold water :'(( I am so sorry mummy ji we didn't help you enough :((

I am thankful to my father for riding his bicycle for almost 11 miles (back & forth) which took him 40 minutes one way to come get me from my college when I was 16. I am so ashamed that instead of thanking him I told him not to come get me on his bicycle as I was embarrassed in front of my friends because most of them came on their own scooters or cars :'(( I didn't see his love for me and his effort to ride his bicycle (regular bicycle) on a Saturday afternoon in scorching heat to come get me when I got off my college :'(( All he wanted was to show me how much he loves me and how much he cared. I am so ashamed I couldn't see it then :'((

I am thankful to my father for cooking us Halwa puri, Karaa in desi Ghee, Gajrela and all other sweets.

I want to thank my mother for buying me all the latest suit designs.

I want to thank my parents for waking up early every morning for us in the winters to boil water for all 4 of us to bathe and get ready for school.

I want to thank my mother for knitting our school sweaters for us for the winter time.

I want to thank my father for tucking us in our warm quilts in the winter time.

I want to thank my father for telling us stories sitting outside in our verandah while we waited for our mom to cook dinner for us.

I want to thank my parents for buying us a TV when they couldn't see us going to our neighbour's home to watch TV.

I want to thank my father for buying us a radio & a tape recorder, we listened to RMI Cycle detective radio show and had good time.

I want to thank my parents to allow us to make mess in the home and not make a fuss about it.

I want to thank my parents for giving up on their sleep & rest so they can give us more time and take good care of us.

I want to thank my father for letting me ruin his fav. perfume. I want to thank my father for cooking for us and bringing our lunch in the school when my youngest sister was in the hospital recovering from her burn scars.

I want to thank my father for not letting us know about his painful kidney stones and pretend to be happy even when he was hurting.

I want to thank my parents for being happy in our happiness, for trusting us whole heartedly, for giving us the freedom that we needed to learn to be ourselves.

I want to thank my father for taking us to our grandma's home in the village for our summer vacations in a 3 hour bus ride and buying us bananas, roasted peanuts & daal on the way to keep us fed.

I am thankful to my father for letting us be scared at times and hug us to feel safe and protected.

I am thankful to my parents for encouraging us to be independant and be our own person.

I am thankful for my parents for letting me disturb them in the middle of the nights when I would have a nightmare, to hug me & let me cry and sometimes sleep thru' the night with my mum (even when I was 25, people here would find it weird because they really don't have that kind of relationship with their parents to begin with).

I am thankful to my parents for saving all their money to buy our education and life for us and not caring about their needs.

I am thankful to my father for accepting the shirt I bought him as a gift from my first salary and keeping it safe to show to others and feel proud.

I am thankful to my father for not being disappointed in me or my sisters when we didn't live upto their expectations.

I am thankful to my father for taking me to most of his poetry sessions and letting me sing for everyone.

I am thankful to my father for being the poet that he is and sharing his feelings with me now that I have grown up but to him I am still his little child.

I am thankful to my mother for being the greatest mother that she is and if I can be even half as good a mother, a woman & a person as she has been I would consider myself a success.

I want to thank my parents for letting us be who we are, giving us the oppotunities to make our own decisions and respecting them.

I want to thank them for respecting me as an individual and treating me with honour.

I am thankful to my parents for letting me be a brave, upfront & a smart woman and not be scared of men (like most women are in Indian society).

I am thankful to my parents for giving me the freedom to choose my life partner and accept him with all of their hearts.

I am thankful to my parents for making me believe that I can do anything I want and me being a woman is only my strength and not my weakness.

I am thankful to my parents for letting me choose my religion, accept my beliefs, listen to my opinions and share my views.

My Papa ji says to me "I like your arrogance because that makes you who you are and it means you won't take shit from people" To most of you this won't make any sense because we all have grown in totally different environments but to me my parents are 2 people in my life who have raised me to be my own person and everything they have done for me means the world to me. I "AM" because of my parents.
I know I can never repay them for any of their deeds for us but I want them to know how much I love them and how much I appreciate everything they have done for me & my sisters to make our lives better, easier, convenient and full of happiness.

I feel very strongly about loving & respecting parents specially if they are the 2 best people in this world :)) I love you Mummy Ji and Papa Ji. You little daughter is going to be 35 in a few weeks but she still needs you and always will. She will never grow too old to not need you :))

I wish I could thank you for everything you have done for us :((

Puzzled...Do I? ...Will I?

2009-07-12T00:36:00.005-04:00

I just finished watching a show on History Channel called "Ancient Aliens". It was quite an interesting show I must say. I quite enjoyed watching it and I was a bit puzzled by it as well. It made me question about some of my beliefs & opinions. Personally I don't believe in Alines but have always been mesmerised by sheer thought of seeing some creature from a planet far away that looks nothing like humans, probably have more knowledge and advanced techniques like we see on so many Science Fiction shows. I don't believe in Aliens; possible life form on other planet- May be; But aliens- No.
It's the same way that I question the presence of some power known to many people as God. Do I believe in God?- No. Do I want to believe in God- May be, May be not. Do I have to believe in God- I don't know. Give me a proof and may be we can discuss it further. It's one of those controversial topics that I have difficulty accepting without proof, I can't simply rely on some one's faith in something non-existent. I see so many people surrendering to god which gives them an escape from their miseries, fears and every imaginable sorrowful situation that they don't have answers to. Do all these people sleep peacefully at night because they have faith? Do they really believe in something they say they do? I don't know.
Do I believe in life after death?- No. Do I believe in Incarnation?- No. But if you asked me about my belief in Love I would say Absolutely. Do I know what love s........ Probably not. But do I know how it feels to love and be loved....Yes I do. My belief or non belief in god doesn't make me a human being but my capacity to love, care, laugh, cry & feel does. My capacity to love enables me to connect with other human beings irrespective of their beliefs, cultures, class, race or nationality. It enables me to make friends, to find relationships and nurture them. Does this capacity or ability to love bring me utmost peace & contentment.....I don't know; sometimes it does other times it doesn't. But it sure helps me to understand feelings of other people better and in a more human way. Would I be peaceful when it's time for me to leave......???? I would like to think I would. Am I a happy person in every situation....No. It's not humanly possible to not to feel sadness, sorrow, discomfort, pain & distress. And if I do feel all these emotions then how can I be happy all the time? Every human, irrespective of their beliefs,feels pain and has the need to cry and so do I. Just like everyone else I do have my down moments but even in sad times I try to give myself some positive reinforcement which helps me to think rationally and figure a way out of that sad situation. Does my happiness depend on others.......No, But I do need people in my life, I do need friends, family and people I love because they add to my happiness. Will I die unhappy if I don't believe in god......No. Will I die peacefully if I found the answer to this mystery.....May Be, May be not. I am, just like so many other people, puzzled & confused about this mysterious thing called "Peace".
What is true happiness and how do you achieve it? I don't know.
My belief in love enables me to carry on, face my fears & fight in times full of struggles, it enables me to stay positive and live for tomorrow. It empowers me to be the person I want to be and the person I strive to be. I believe I am richer than many people because I have family, friends & people in my life who love me for who I am.

Will I go on a spiritual quest one day.....I don't know. Do I really want to know if there's God? May be....One Day. Just like some many other people I 'll remain puzzled by these queries all my life or may be I will find the answers before I leave this earth.

Will I die satisfied & Loved, If I died tomorrow.........????? "Absolutely"

I met some wonderful people yesterday

2009-03-03T17:25:00.001-05:00

Jim's Life

I went for this job interview yesterday and I felt so uncomfortable looking at all these really young kids so desperately waiting to get the job. I secretly wished "May the really needy person get the job". I got the job but I am really not even half as needy as most of the people at that interview.

We had to wait for a long time for the interview so I had the opportunity to converse with few people. You don't really appreciate your life until you meet someone whose life is all fucked up and you wonder.....Why do I feel so unhappy for no reason?

So back to the meeting with some new wonderful people. One person stood out in the crowd as he looked much older yet very sophisticated. I thought him to be my father's age and every time I looked at him he smiled and it reminded me of my father. So I initiated conversation with him and said Hello. I asked him his age (weird but I wanted to know his age) and he told me that he is 47. I was shocked as he looked nothing like a 47 year old man, he looked more like someone hitting his 70s. He was tall (about 6'3"), fair, charming personality, friendly demeanor and a very happy person. He introduced himself as Jim. He works at an automotive parts supply company (I won't name the place he works at). He asked me few questions and told me that he has lived a ridiculous life. He told me that the sole purpose of his life is to find his daughter, and he wasn't even sure that she is his daughter. Some girl that he was dating when he was around 24 left him all of a sudden and called him after 2 months telling him that he is going to be a father. That girl slept with many other men so he asked her to get the blood test done when the baby is born, if the baby is his then he will take care of everything (back then DNA test wasn't available yet). Her best friend warned him that she is just using you as a financial aid (in other words, money hungry bitch. I have heard that term before) and that she was into drugs and shit. He didn't even get to know anything as that woman just kept moving from one place to another. After the child was born, Jim's name was on the certificate as the father since he was the only man she dated that had a job. HRS took the baby away from her after her baby sitter told on her because of all the shit going on inside her home and unhealthy environment for the baby. HRS had Jim's name on the certificate but never called Jim. So he is still looking for his daughter IF she is his. He said that she would be 23 today. Interesting !!

He was diagnosed with Cancer when he was 15 and was given another 3-4 years to live. He got struck by lightning when he was 17 and it saved his life as it destroyed his cancerous cells (Boom......just like that he was cancer free).He lived in St. Pete in a very rough neighborhood and back in the 80s; as he told me; it was very difficult to live a safe life in that area. He was driving home one night after work when a cop followed him and pulled him over near a dead end road. He said that he was very scared as the news about cops killing 22 unarmed men that year was still very fresh in his memory. He refused to come out of his car and talked to him while still sitting inside the car. The cop shot him in the shoulder and then accused him of trying to run him over with his pick up truck. The cop had no evidence, no proof, no alibi but he still managed to get Jim convicted and he was sentenced 20 years in prison. He said that he fought for 12 years and 15 days (precise time) to get out of the jail and prove his innocence. He learnt enough law in 12 years and 15 days that now he works as a law clerk in the county (as a second job), he now holds a legal degree in law. He helped saved 96 years of jail time for few more wrongfully convicted men in Pinellas County. He was wearing his prison shoes at the interview as they are very comfortable (I couldn't tell what kind of shoes those were as I have never seen a pair of prison shoes. But now I have). He said that when he was set free he had $4 left in his canteen tab so he asked his prison guard if he could buy a pair of prison shoes and pay $4 for it. The guard refused as no one is allowed to take the prison shoes out of the prison. Jim requested hard and finally the guard said "Heck Jim, You are a good guy, I'll take care of anything they have to say about shoes, you go take them shoes" (his exact wordings as told to me by Jim) So till date he wears those prison shoes every where he goes. He said that prison time taught him a lot of things and one main lesson he learned was to fight for your rights specially when you know that you have been wrongfully convicted, no matter who accused you of the charges, you can learn law and fight to get out. Every single word that Jim spoke had the utmost truth in it as I felt. I told him that I feel very uncomfortable to see someone of that age looking for a job when he should be sitting at home relaxing with his family and his family should be taking care of him now. He said that doesn't happen in US of A.

He is not married. He told me that he had 3 women die on him (talk about BAD LUCK !!) The first one whom he really loved ditched him as she didn't want him to know that she had Leukemia and she died with in few months of breaking his heart. He said that if she had told him about her illness he would have taken care of her. The second woman he dated also died of some medical condition. The 3rd woman he fell in love with had to have a heart transplant and she was very sick. She finally managed to have a heart transplant, every thing went just fine, her body accepted the new organ, it was perfect match and she felt better with in the first few days. After couple of weeks she felt some chest pain so she drove to Tampa General Hospital and asked for her Doctor. Her doctor that day was busy playing golf with his buddies and didn't want to be disturbed. So the doctor told her that these chest pains was nothing out of the ordinary, non-serious and that she should just go home and take some rest. She drove back to her home and died in her car seat while driving back to Tampa.

I don't know what to think of his life, he was most certainly not lying (my heart says he wasn't) his prison term aged him quite a bit really fast, he has no clue where his daughter is..if she is really his. Wow!! It was just too much for me to grasp. I told my Mottu the whole story on the way home and he said that's life Honey. I felt like I am such a dumb ass to get unhappy for silly stupid things while that man; who really suffered all through his 47 years of not so wonderful life; managed to smile and called his life ridiculous yet wonderful.

I went numb the night my parents met with an accident, I couldn't feel anything and all I did from that night on and for the next year was cry, call them everyday, call my sisters to give my emotional support, call them EVERY 2 hours to check on them, cry over the phone when I talked to my sisters, Kept my mom in the dark about my father's critical condition.............that time period in my life made me question about my life without my parents and I felt very unhappy. Now they are safe and getting better with each passing day and I am happy again but still very scared and cautious for their health. I wonder how does Jim feel when he sits alone in the night and try to relive every episode of his life?

Talking to Jim made me realize how lucky I am and how wonderful my life is really. You will always have some people in your life you wish you could get rid of, who only need you for money, create problems for you, take advantage of you financially, emotionally, socially, physically, morally, psychologically But because of these miserable scum of the earth people you realize the value of your true friends. You wouldn't know good people if you haven't been with few bad ones first. And then you will always have wonderful family, brothers, sisters and all other loved ones who make your life worth living and happy. As long as I have my Mottu, my parents, my sisters, my brothers in law, my Maanu & Mitthi and few very close friends I don't have a reason to be unhappy. and if I get unhappy it's just simply because I am a woman and I can get unhappy for no reason at all :D (and blame it on the hormones)

Life is indeed very beautiful !! and mine is just as beautiful as every one else's if not more.

just wanted to add some pics from Iceland

2008-09-15T20:54:00.007-04:00

Ijust wanted to add that most of these pics were taken in sports mode with my Nokia N-90 and I am impressed by the quality of some of my pics :)

Blue Lagoon.......it's beautiful & coooooold :)

2008-07-27T12:52:00.006-04:00

Please click on pics to see the larger view.

So when I mentioned in my last blog that Iceland is pretty much volcanic soil and hardened lava not many of you actually believed me. But I did describe the Icelandic scenery the way "I" see it.
To backup my statements I am uploading some pics I took for you guys to see how Iceland really looks like. The land looks like kazillions of different sized rocks and stones that are covered with moss and not all the moss is green. From a distance it looks like as if someone sprayed or sprinkled TONS of sand all over Iceland and it deposited on the rocks and the stones. I find it very beautiful but somehow very scary if i am left alone at such place, it made me feel like I am on another planet. Rocks and stones covered with green as well as with dry moss, uneven land as far as you can see and dark clouds enveloping the sky from all directions (it looks scary to me).

The natural beauty of Iceland is breathtaking and Scary at the same time. There's so much scenic beauty for you to catch, Unbelievable!! It's amazing how people actually made this place liveable. If you don't notice the structual development, people & greenery in Iceland it pretty much looks like a very RAW, DRY and SCENIC piece of land that looks very similar to some Star-Wars/ Krull or Total Recall (I wouldn't be surprised if they actually shoot all these Sci-Fi movies here in Iceland). It is PERFECT for shooting some scary movies depicting another planet we know nothing about. The only difference is that we actually have Iceland on our world map and people actually live here!! Everyone who visits Iceland has his/her own views of how beautiful/ Scary or boring Iceland really is. I find it beautiful and Scary...HONEST!!

Another thing is that Iceland really doesn't have any greenery of its own. All the green grass you see in the cities is imported and planted here to make Iceland look greener. All the trees, bushes and small plants here are imported and planted so don't be surprised if for some strange reason all the trees seem to be perfectly in a row. The only natural thing here is MOSS which is found everywhere GREEN and DRY. OF course there are some wild yellow, Purple and white flowers that bloom everywhere in the summer. Purple flowers are actually weeds that kill or eat everything that comes in its way, as we have been told.But those purple flowers look amazing and add beauty to the Icelandic dried volcanic land.

2008-07-26T20:39:00.003-04:00

So finally after 25 days I actually got to see some Iceland. YAY!!

Mike and Sandy took us to GULFOSS FALLS and the hot water Geysers. I tried to catch everything I could with in my view but it was sooooooomuch. Well at least I got the Stokkur Geyser perfect in my camera (I am not a professional photographer and neither do I possess high quality professional camera, so enjoy the pics I clicked using my simple camera)I actually put together the perfect sequence to the Geyser eruption. Let me know what do you think. I can't believe that I actually clicked all these pics. Woo-Hoo!! YAY!!

Most of he greenery you see in the pics or even the Icelandic postcards is MOSS, yeah...you heard me right. The mountains look like gaint dried volcano lavas and they are covered with moss which makes them look a little greener. Iceland has grass but the land is very uneven to walk on. The sand or mud is very deep maroon or burgundy in color. Lots and lots of horses and sheep everywhere and no fields :( The only tree found in Iceland or actually is native to Iceland is The northern birch. Iceland imports all other plants and small trees. Iceland is covered with volcanic soil. People who have Ophidiophobia (OK...so what I looked up this word in the Dictionary) i.e. Fear of snakes, should permanently move to Iceland as it has NO SNAKES (yeah you heard me right)
Ok will talk more .....LATER!!

in the meanwhile ENJOY the pics!!

my complete profile....more than 1200 words ;)

2008-07-26T20:31:00.007-04:00

I am an artist and very keen on learning about different cultures of the world.Love making friends....I am open for any kind of discussion BUT religion.

Luckily I have been raised to be a free person, voice my opinion, respect all religions, be straight forward, friendly and be myself. I am blunt and Sarcasm is my IInd language. You might be able to influence me (with your positive thoughts), inspire me and even provoke me......BUT don't try to convince me!! I form my opinions based on what "I" see, feel and experience. Don't PREACH me anything you yourself can't practise. Everyone in this world is a sinner so NO ONE is worthy of preaching...PERIOD!!

Stay away from my page if you are here to convince me that
A- JESUS is the only god & all Muslims will go to hell,Jesus is the only savior so every one should embrace christianity
B- Allah is the only savior and all other faiths need to be demolished
C- Guru Nanak is the only GURU and everyone else should convert into Sikhism
D- Ram & Krishna are the only lords and Hindus are the cleanest, most spiritual beings (B***S***)who don't eat meat and don't discriminate (trust me I don't have to go far to prove this wrong)
E- Only 44,000 Jehovah Witness people will attain Nirvana rest everyone will burn alive
OR what ever "YOUR" faith is, is "the ultimate" faith and that all other faiths, religions and beliefs in the world are fake. If you are a true Christian/ Muslim/ Hindu/ Sikh/ Buddhist/ Jews or Zorastrians then the first thing YOU need to learn is to accept other people for who they are and what they believe in. Learn to live with the fact that around the world there are MILLIONS of people do NOT follow your religion and are free to have their own faiths and beliefs and that they believe in something that YOU know nothing about. Just because you think your faith is strong in YOUR god doesn't mean you have the right to disrespect any body's else's faiths and beliefs (GROW UP....REALLY!!). I absolutely don't like to talk about religions & faiths. Don't come to my page and disrespect any religion or faith. It won't be accepted and appreciated.

Food for Thought............

2008-07-26T19:54:00.002-04:00

I wrote this on June6th 2006 but never really thought of putting it on my blogspot page until now.

23:02 | 6/Jun/2006

Yesterday I was with my best friend Chandra and we went to this local African- American (GHETTO.... not my words, honestly!!) grocery shop where I saw this strange looking meat stuff.I didn't know about most of the stuff and somehow I felt disgusted looking at all that meat. It looked stale and didn't look quite edible and it was everywhere in the shop. So I started reading the name of the kind of meats kept in the freezers.Chicken Drum sticks(chicken legs) Chicken Gizzard(inside of the chicken)Chicken wings, Turkey neck.....and so many more things. Then I saw Pig-Feet(eeewwwwwww) I said it pretty loud and unfortunately everyone in the shop heard it. Now I had about 6 pairs of eyes (not counting the owner's and his employees) staring at me including my friends. Not to mention little kids in the shop.I said "Sorry" but thought who eats Pig-Feet,it's disgusting eewww. My friend said "some black folks do"
"Black people love Pig-Feet and they relish it's taste" she said. I could feel my stomach churning and my eye balls expanding in disgust. I asked "Why do you like Pig-Feet?" What she said next made me feel embarrassed,demeanoring,stupid and it made me feel sorry for my poor knowledge of history of food in the world and what it could mean to someone. Well my friend loves me and she knew that my words were honest when I said eeewwww and I really didn't mean to offend anyone. "Don't worry" she said "you are not the only one who feels disgusted to know that black people eat Pig-Feet". I said I am really sorry I didn't mean to insult you or anyone around here. It's just that I never knew about Pig-Feet as food.
"It's alright Param" Black people eat Pig-Feet because that's the only thing they were given to eat when they were slaves. My jaw dropped and I almost hit my head with my fist (slightly) thinking how stupid of me to have said something without knowing the reason and logic behind it.
She said that the masters use to eat all the good parts of the meat and throw the feet or the neck part to their slaves and to satisfy their hunger and to survive the slaves ate the feet as they didn't have any other option.They use to give all the internal organs of chicken(left out or the waste meat) to the slaves (chicken gizzards).The slaves were sometimes given the rear-end of pig(pig's behind I mean its butt) because the masters thought it to be ugly, nasty and not worth eating I felt bad and sorry for all the people who had to go through such disgusting Opression and discrimination on the basis of their skin colour,their race,their class and their socio-economic status.

summer in Iceland.....Iceland is beautiful !!!

2008-07-10T15:33:00.006-04:00

my stay in Iceland.....Continued

2008-07-10T01:30:00.002-04:00

Hi friends I am back with more complaining and whining about the attitude of Icelandic people. So I had another experience of Icelandic rude attitude that I would rather call an insult. I needed to vent and talk to someone so here it goes. Mike and Sandy took me to the electronic store, as we had to get the extension cords for our computers. We reached there and there was plenty enough space to park. We went inside and got busy looking at some stuff and no one approached us asking if we needed any help. So I had to be loud again (I already told you that I am not a soft spoken person anyway but at least I am polite) and point out that we needed assistance. This guy turned out to be nicer than many other people I have spoken to. So we finally purchased our stuff and walked out of the store. Mike went to his car and we went to buy some food from the grocery store that happens to be the shop next to the electronics store Elko. As Mike was waiting in the car two guys came in a BMW and tried to park next to Mike. They were still in speed so BAM; hit their BMW into Mike’s car door. Mike rolled down the window and said “hey watch out, cant you see?” to which the guy said “Í do what ever I want to do” and zoomed the car in the parking spot right in front of Mike. He didn’t park in his lane instead he parked horizontally and took 2 parking spots. In the mean time we finished our purchase and came out. Mike was waiting for us. As soon as we got near the car he told us what happened. I looked at the car and it was parked right in front of Mike’s car. The boys (they looked very young and were acting like they were the only ones in the world who owns a BMW). They literally stared at Mike’s car as they zoomed (reversed) their car in speed and the guy who was driving gave me a very mean look. I asked him “what?” he didn’t say anything but flicked his finger. That made me MAD as hell. Sandy had just walked near by to keep the cart back and those guys sped and stopped the car right in front of Sandy like they are going to run her over and when she started to walk they put the car in gear and sped away…and they didn’t forget to flick the finger at her as well. Oh I was so mad.

I don’t get it…how come Iceland is the 5th happiest country in the world and its people don’t even know how to smile? Does it make any sense to you? Well as per my experience the researcher met some Icelandic people when they were drunk and figured that Icelandic people are very happy people. Dear researcher…please accompany me for a deep research and I will enlighten you, probably teach you better way to study people. I am not being mean to Icelandic people and neither am I being judgemental. I am just being honest about my very personal experience.

So the same day, which was Monday 7th of July after shopping we were hungry so Mike, suggested Red Chilies. Like always he wanted some ribs. So we struggled to find our way to Red Chilies but finally made it…WooHoo!! We entered the restaurant and we stood there like dumb. It was 3:30 in the afternoon and the place was DEAD empty. Sandy and I waited for some time for some one to come and seat us. No one came, so Sandy went to the kitchen and managed to bring one girl out of the kitchen. She came out and said “Oh” and seated us. We got the menu and now again we had to wait for her to come out of the kitchen so that we can order. Finally she came back and we ordered our food, I asked her if she is the only one working there to which she replied, “Yes, I work here from 11:00 till night”. She didn’t seem too interested to chat so we just ordered our food. As we were the only ones there it didn’t take too long for her to bring the food for us. So my Fajitas platter was hot and uncovered at the handle so I ended up burning my ring finger of my right hand. We were only given 1 napkin. I ordered a coffee and was given 1 sugar pack that was more like a pinch. We were not asked if we needed water, well we shouldn’t have to ask for water, it should be right there on the table. Well Sandy had to get up to get her out of the kitchen again so that I could have more sugar and a glass of water. She brought me a glass of water alright but again one pack of sugar…now do I need to pay extra to get some more sugar? Well everything was just awful but Mike was too busy eating the Ribs. So we are in the middle of eating our food when these 2 couples arrived. They looked every bit a tourist, may be Italian… ;). They just stood there and waited for about 10 minutes, I told the guy that he would have to cal her out of the kitchen. He smiled and said Ok. They seated themselves. After a while the girl came out and we had already finished eating, I noticed that instead of coming to us and collecting the empty dishes she sat down at the corner end table. From my side of the table I couldn’t see but Sandy told me that seems like her boy friend just came and she is feeding him…..really?? She didn’t even look around and notice those 2 couples who were probably as hungry as we were. So Sandy got up again and told here that there are more people (Sandy had to tell her that…I Swear!! And then had to tell her that we are done and will take the bill now. She brought the bill, never picked up the dirty dishes and NEVER smiled. So I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I went there to pay the bill and asked her if she knows how to smile (I swear, that’s exactly what I asked her). She smiled and said “why?” I said, “ Well Icelandic people don’t seem to smile”. She said, “Yeah, may be because they don’t know you”. I said, “ smiles are not only meant for someone you know, you work in a restaurant and that’s how you welcome people” she said “ I know you are right but most people don’t smile” AND they don’t even say HI. !! Sandy slowly slipped outside trying to control her laugh. There was another lady (a tourist) and she smiled at me really nice (YEH…that’s a very strong sign she is a tourist if her back pack doesn’t convince you). So I thanked her for everything (honestly NOT for the service) and walked out of that place. Sandy was standing outside and laughing telling Mike “Param is so bold, she is telling that girl how she feels”. I told Sandy that this would never happen in US of A.

We were very pissed at that guy in the morning and then the wait and the so cold service at the food place…it wasn’t our day after all. Anyway we took that car’s picture that I am going to post to prove that I am not making these things up (just making my point here). Ok we had enough of it already.

So yesterday i.e. Tuesday July 8th we needed to buy some packing brown tape for Mike and Sandy’s shipping boxes. So we went downtown to find a hardware shop. We ended up in a Thai store where the lady was on the phone the entire time and didn’t even acknowledge that someone walked in the store, there were other people standing to pay for the items as well so we walked out of there, it was of no use asking her anything.

So we walked downtown where everyone just hits you and keeps walking….YAY Welcome to Iceland!! We noticed a woolen jacket in a store window and decided to go in. The lady asked me if I needed any help and if we were looking for anything specific. I was taken aback and I thanked her for asking and smiling. She didn’t understand so I told here that she is the first one since July 30th who actually smiled at me when I entered the store and had the courtesy to ask me if I needed any help. She said “ Wow I am surprised, Icelandic people are like that, they don’t smile”. (Thanks for confirming it like the 150,000th time Miss). We finally found the hardware store and before leaving the store I specially went to the store attendant to say Thanks you and I told him that I really appreciated his help. He didn’t say you are welcome BUT everyone else standing there gave me a surprisingly soft look and I made the attendant smile… ☺ YAY!! (Mission Accomplished).

Iceland is beautiful its the people here who are very dry, gloomy, rude and manner less. I wouldn’t have noticed this dry attitude of Icelandic people if I hadn’t learn to be polite and courteous from my American husband. Indian people are known for their hospitality so someone’s very dry and rude attitude does come across as a surprise. And may be that’s why sometimes very formal approach to friends and family members anywhere in world seem very strange to me. I am trying to find some positive people here, real Icelandic people; so far I have managed to find some happy people who are not Icelandic. 2 Floridian girls were a breath of fresh air, a woman from England, a family from Namibia, few people from South Africa, 2 Chinese girls, 2 Malaysian girls and 1 guy from Romania. Still no Icelandic person in the list? (I wonder why)

There’s another thing you need to know about Iceland, nothing comes free here in Iceland. You have to buy the grocery plastic bags if you need something to put your groceries in…. I swear!! If you don’t buy the bags then carry them any way you like but you will not be given free grocery bags. Icelandic people have to pay Road Tax for using the roads. The bigger the car the more Tax you have to pay. Sandy’s small car costs here about ISK 6,000 a month and Mike’s Audi costs him almost ISK 16,000 a month. Buying a Mercedes here in Iceland is equivalent to buying a home in USA.

I wouldn’t deny that Iceland is beautiful and I will support that fact with some pictures I keep taking every day.

my stay in Iceland.....Continued

2008-07-10T01:13:00.000-04:00

my stay in Iceland so far

2008-07-06T17:06:00.000-04:00

I have been in Iceland since June 30th and so far I have mixed emotions. So here it goes.......my experience in Iceland
The first thing I noticed when I landed in Iceland was some sculptures around the KEF airport. There's a big one right outside the main exit/ entry to the airport. It's made of Iron & steel, a giant egg hatching with a little birdie's face sticking out. It's beautiful. The minute we stepped out of the airport I felt this cool breeze brushing my face and it actually felt nice (well I was coming from HOT Florida). My husband insisted that I should wear the jacket but I told him that the cool breeze felt good. On our way to the place we are renting I remember seeing wide green land, wild purple & yellow flowers everywhere, lots of mountains and lots of giant rocks. The first thing I was told by Mike and his wife Sandy (those are our 2 friends we are visiting here) that all the giant rock sculpters in the open are sculpted by elves....(yeh you heard me right ELVES). Icelandic people believe in the existence of Elves and they don't touch anything that looks like a sculpture in the mountain. Let me try to describe it....hmmmm....One giant uneven rock, another giant uneven rock on top of it and on the very top a comparatively smaller rock, all put together makes them look like human figures. And there are many, some are big, some small, some wide and some very tall. Icelandic people wouldn't stir or move anything around that area as they don't want to disturb the Creatures of Nature i.e. ELVES. They believe that ELVES live right under or around those areas, I am not too sure if anyone has ever seen any. But honestly those rock sculptures look beautiful.
So now about the homes.....awwwwww Icelandic homes are like 290,000 eye-shadows pallette (what better way to describe.....hello I am a WOMAN), I literally mean it. I will try to put the pics up to support my claim ;)Icelandic homes are everything you would find in the beautiful European Country posters or Post Card. Now why I called them 290,000 eye-shadows pallette....?? Well let's see, according the latest census that's how many people are there in Iceland and if I am not wrong then the same number of homes (I hope I am close if not correct). All the homes have very Vivid, Vibrant, bright yet pastel colored exteriors. I am talking green, algea green, Olive green, bright yellow, deep blue, deep green, red, crimson, lemon yellow, aqua, turquoise, Burgundy, Purple, Orange, brown, light green, florescent green, deep crimson yellow......all the summer colors that you find in the latest spring or summer make-up magazines. I find them extremely beautiful and I bet I wouldn't be the only one. These homes are beautifully constructed according to the guidellines of the Icelandic land requirements. In case you didn't know Iceland is practically dried & Hardened lava. That is practicaly what it's land is, the land looks very different than I have ever seen anywhere else (I haven't been to a place before that has active volcanoes). The land has a unique color which is pretty close to the color of the walnut shell just a little darker, it shines a lot when the sun is brighter...I guess it reflects the sun's light. The land is most certainly not a smooth land but undeniably greener than anyone could ever imagine. Nature has definately chosen Iceland to be it's VASE. The scenic beauty is breath taking. It's close to paradies for people who like to live in solitude and have a lot of money (*winks*), It's just so beautiful here in summer. There are hot water gysers everywhere. Within some mountains, from a distance, You can actually notice some steam coming out of some of these natural hot water gysers. Icelandic summer days are beautiful......every day brings it's own different color & shade BUT I wouldn't trade my life in Florida for any other place in the world (muah....blows kisses)

Now about some important issues that we need to discuss and livelihood is definately one of them. So, in Iceland it's against the law to hire someone with a pay below than ISK 160,000 which is about $2,100 every month. BEWARE......Iceland is not for POOR or always BROKE people. Iceland is EXPENSIVE. The smallest bill in Iceland is ISK 500. Rich people are very rich AND no one in Iceland is POOR, Icelandic govt. takes care of everyone. If a person doesn't have a job the Icelandic Govt. makes sure that he/she gets atleast 80,000 ISK every month for survival (Ooooo I like that (*winks*)). They have 500, 1,000, 2,000 and 5,000 bills. Iceland has Kilometers as the unit of measuring distance and Degree Celsius as the unit for measuring temperature. I almost burnt my steak when I put it on 250 (didn't know it was 250 degree celsius, I complained to my hubby that the oven here has the highest temperature of 250). The water in the tap gets burning HOT and freezing COLD in a matter of seconds so be careful when you try to get HOT water.....you might burn yourself. Gas prices here are not as bad (at least Icelandic people don't think it's expensive). Petrol (Gas for Americans) is 125 ISK for a litre. Crime rate in as low as it can ever get, it's almost non-existant. People usually rent the homes as they can't afford to buy the homes. Small Toyota cars are people's fav. cars. The Taxi service is pretty amazing ONLY if you don't make them wait for a minute.......coz' they will LEAVE if they have to wait for more than a minute. YEH, it's true.....happened to me and my hubby unfortunately (makes a sad face)For people with limited budget but definately NOT poor (which is almost 80% of Icelanders) Iceland has BONUS shopping store which is equivalent to (kind of) Wal-Mart or I would say a mix of Wal-Mart/ K-Mart and Dollar store. Everything is imported so it's EXPENSIVE. Now if you can get dinner for 2 at a restraunt for ISK 15,000 (about $190) it's comparatively (ridiculously) cheap as I have been told. Mike just bought 5 hamburgers yeaterday and the bill was $200....well I'll tell that story later. I believe the only thing Iceland can call it's own is Butter and Aluminium rest every thing else comes from so many different countries.
So now let's talk about Icelandic people. BOY are they rude (phew!!) !! Icelandic people are the rudest in the world........declared by Miss America/India Paramjit Sites (Batts eyelashes). My personal experience is.....you go any place in Iceland BE prepared to get hit by almost everyone walking around in that place and don't EXPECT a single "excuse me". People will walk right thru' you, bang you against the wall or a shop's window and stare back at you as if you are in their way......(makes a sad face again). I was so mad (angry) by this rude gesture of almost everone I met that Sandy and I started saying "Excuse you" to everyone who hit us or walked right on to us. They expect you to give them a way as they walk everywhere with those uncontrollably imbalanced steps. I hated it (makes an ugly face). Another thing about Icelandic people.......THEY DON'T FUCKING SMILE!! The only person (excluding My Eric, Mike and Sandy) smiled at me in first couple of days was the Passport Officer. WOW!! that was a treat (Winks!!). I finally managed to extract few smiles off of few Icelandic CREATURES.The most genuine smiles I got were from 2 girls in 2 different small shops, and guess where are they from????.....Yeah, you guess it right....FLORIDA !!Yay!!
So you go to a shop, mind you, almost everything is in a foreign language (as you don't know what product came from which country), no one comes to you and says hello, no one shows you the stuff you are looking for (and unfortunately I don't speak Danish, German, dutch, Polish, French, Russian or any other foreign language for that matter). The shop owners or the workers just stand there gossiping in their native language and look at you like you just disturbed them by entering in their shop. I had to literally say "Excuse me, I need some assistance" somewhat LOUDER than what they are accustomed to (not that I am a soft spoken person anyway), even then the lady at the counter didn't bother to ask me what I was looking for. She just looked at me and said "Yes". Well Sandy and I were pissed off so we walked out of the shop, of course without buying anything. So I looked at some dresses and I liked the colors so I went inside the shop.......I wish I could describe what those dresses were.....I DON'T FUCKING KNOW (shrugs) Almost every dress is European designed dress, the weirdest design possible and on top of that they only carry sizes XS-L (Lord have mercy on US big women). Now mind you there Large doesn't even cover half of my breasts....(it's not funny, don't laugh). Thankfully I didn't think of trying some stretch pants or something.... I would have hated myself forever for not being able to fit into anything BUT luckily I don't.
All the shoe fanatics like me (raises the hands) please don't ever dream of buying shoes from here and solemly swear that we would never bring our designer, expensive, beautiful and bright footwear to Iceland COZ' everything you wear here is NOT IN this season (like I care.....huh!!). Just because the Sun is brighter girls here think they can wear anything HUGE, SPARKLY AND full of RHINESTONES around their necks. Icelandic girls are comparatively whiter (not in a good way), their cheeks turn red just by stepping out of the house in summer and they'd still put some blush on (some of the cheeks I saw were like red round circles...he!he!). So they like to wear this ORANGE foundation base with dark brown-black eye-brows (which looks absolutely SO fake). I was "THE ONLY ONE (Miss America/ India)" with the summer eye-shadow on and apparently one of the 2 with a normal (not an ORANGE) face (*winks*).
Now Back to my 5 ham-burgers story......so here it goes. Mike's sister just turned 29 on July 5th which was yesterday. So, they drove couple of hours to visit her and celebrate her B'day. we didn't go (OK, we were not invited...shushhhh). BUT Boy am I glad we didn't go !! (Phew...wipes the sweat off of forhead). Back to the story. So they drove a while before they finally reached this hotel where they decided to spend the evening. Each one of them was hungry so they went inside the hotel and waited to be seated. Well like in a noraml Icelandic courtesy...NO BODY asked them to be seated (rolls the eyes...What a Surprise). So they had to pull couple of chairs from the other table and seated themselves. Now comes the real drama (in Mike's words) Everyone ordered a hamburger. They had to wait for a while and were finally served. The hamburgers were not only overly cooked they were burnt (yeh, truly burnt black as I have been told by Mike and his Wife Sandy). So Mike asked the server what was it and did he really expect them to eat those burnt hamburgers. The server replied (Drum roll.......)"You are entitled to make your own hamburgers in the kitchen if you'd like" (rolls the eyes.....really), Mike said "it's pretty much similar to saying, go F@#$ yourself". Mike's wife, sister and his mother's BF ate the hamburger anyway. Mike ended up paying $200 for 5 burnt burgers. As they walked out of the hotel restaraunt the Manager was selling the tourist vouchers (which are actually free) so Mike approached him and asked if he could talk to her for a minute. She told him to wait and then when Mike did get a chance to talk to her, he was told to approach her Boss (another woman manager, now ladies I am not trying to degrade you). Mike went to see the Boss(another woman) and told her about what happened inside to which she replied "There's nothing strange, I would have told you the same thing" (really...rolling eyes in disbelief). And guess what......all 4 people who ate the hamburgers are busy visiting toilet every half an hour, have body pains, slight fever and have already thrown up a few times (oh.... I feel sorry for them). This would NEVER EVER happen in the USA.
I like Iceland (for visiting ONLY) but there's something missing in Icelandic people. They are not courteous, no manners, very irritable and full of themselves. BUT one good thing about Icelandic people I must mention.....they are real Artists. You can find extraordinarily beautiful sculptures every where in Iceland.
I wish Icelandic people were this expressive in showing love and courtesy and develop a habit of SMILING every once in a while (now wouldn't that be nice?)

Why do people think INDIA is a poor country??

2006-03-14T23:48:00.000-05:00

I am an INDIAN married to an american.Ever since i have come to USA i have had so many chances to talk to people about INDIA my beautiful country.Lot of people think INDIA as a poor country where people live in a very backward way.Just today one of my husband's colleague asked me to talk to his wife and tell her that INDIA is not as poor as they show in the documentries.I was taken aback by the information she recieved through some indian documentary.Some indian guy shot this documentary in INDIA showing the poorest sites and who so ever watched that documentary thought that INDIA doesn't even have restrooms 'n people throw garbage on the roads and so many more bad things.Is this is some kind of tactic to show the world our poverty 'n attract money ??Well i can't think of one country which is 100% wealthy 'n has full financial resources.Even USA has some poor people and people living in the streets,Old people living in old-age homes and no one to take care of them.To experience any country one has to go visit that country and then see for themselves what is the actual scenario.India is a fast growing democracy,a secular country and very diversified.No one can really know the real INDIA without going to INDIA once.India has rich and very vast heritage,beautiful historical monuments,highly educated youth and above all the "family oriented society".Agree there's corruption..but name one country which is not corrupted one way or the other??My friend (the colleague's wife) asked me if there are any rest rooms in INDIA?I was shocked to hear that question.What are these people who are making these kind of documentries trying to achieve??Why don't they go and make documentries about some cultural events,some religious ceremonies,the marriage ceremonies,the beautiful festivals,the historical monuments,big universities,planned cities,beautiful beaches,wonderful happy family living togather as one,old people staying with thier kids or their grand kids and not in the old age homes,highly qualified and intelligent IIT professionals,smart and incredibly talented young kids,Tajmahal........????I can go on and on with the list b'cause everything about INDIA is so beautiful that the severe beauty of INDIA can't be described in words.One has to see it to believe it.My husband lived in INDIA for quite a while and he loves INDIA,Indian food,Indian people and Indian history.............INDIA has given the world so much in terms of intelligent youth,indian herbs,indian YOGA,indian music,indian culture,the concept of ZERO,highly intelligent mathematicians,very smart and incredibly intelligent Doctors and computer professionals,smart business men.........do u think they all came from the streets??Don't judge INDIA by what you see in movies and documentries,Go visit INDIA and feel the warmth,joy and happiness in abundance.